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Currently viewing definition for Geeks
Category : Individuals
Last updated by : khaz on 2/3/2006

Geeks


I suppose itís only fitting to start this off with a nice, friendly, easy to use manual to identify the different levels of geek that currently exist.

General Audience for this definition

Yep, sure, sounds easy, why the hell would I need a manual for that? You ask as you sit in your country leather chair, surrounded by seemingly infinitely high piles of Coke cans and chip packets. Will the answer is this, you probably donít if youíre surrounded by infinitely high piles of Coke cans and chip packets. Shit, try to keep up, the list is for the type of people who may, or may not, come on to the site believing only two things:

1. Geeks are rare, few and far between, unpopular, play games pretty much 24 hours of the day, wear enormous glasses and never make it anywhere in the world
2. The Internet is an incredible place, filled with stimulating discussions, useful information , and a variety of helpful individuals.

Now, if youíre a geek, you know that the two things listed above a complete bullshit. If we think of them for one minute, We realize the actual two things that the person using the site should know are:

1. Geeks are not rare, most are fairly tricky to spot, they make more money than you, play games pretty much 24 hours of the day, occasionally wear enormous glasses and are run every single company that you have ever paid a bill to in your life .
2. The Internet is an incredible place, filled with unreadable pointless discussions, useless opinions, and a variety of offensive individuals. Oh, and porn. Lots and lots of porn. Perhaps more porn that anyone like you could even imagine (yes, even more porn than that guy you knew in 11th grade had)

So anyway, now that weíve cleared that up, on to the types.

Level 1 : Occasional

Person who is usually social, outgoing, but possesses at least one of the following DVDís : Star Trek First Contact, Episodes 4-6 of Star Wars (1-3 not counted), any television show or movie written or directed by Joss Whedon (that includes Alien Ressurection).

Level 2 : General

Spending more than 50% of personal time playing games, quite often found reclusively sitting in darkened rooms, and possessing the following : At least one copy of The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, any DVD which features information related to or provided BY Gene Roddenberry. Slow internet access all hours of the day due to incessant bittorrent or other p2p network usage. These individuals also must posess more than 50 dvdís which they have burned themselves.

Level 3 : Das Uber

Spending 80% of personal time in a programming or linux environment. Always found reclusively avoiding light (even at social gatherings which they will rarely, but occasionally, wander into Ė usually by accident). Posesses one Gold Plated edition of the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy (full 5 part series). Possesses Episodes 4-6 of Star Wars, and purchased episodes 1-3 specifically to burn them in a bonfire. Owns at LEAST one t-shirt with a linux reference. Will occasionally slip DOS terminology into everyday conversation (ie: ĎIíd really like a copy of what youíre eatingí)

This information is VERY vague, unfinished, and incomplete (yep, redundancy) and will be updated.

-pete : dont forget the gaming categories :P
Gamer 1
Standard computer user messes around with games that strike their fancy, normaly sticks to a single niche game or two. Keeps game time to a reasonable level.

Gamer 2
Xbox, playstation etc exclusive users. Wouldnt know how to plug in a monitor. Game time is usualy fairly high for short periods.

Gamer 3
Uses the computer almost exclusively for games, game time is generaly when ever not chatting or looking up pron.

 

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